PAMELA'S "HOW I BROKE MY LEG" EXCUSE LIST

1. I was swinging from a trapeze and missed the person I was supposed to be connecting with.
2. I was bungee jumping with a 20-foot cord. Unfortunately, the cliffwas only nineteen feet high.
3. I was leaping out of a seventh-story window without my red cape andthe "S" on my chest.
4. I was trying to play Twister while white-water rafting.
5. I was trying out for the skateboarding X-Games.
6. I was jumping out of a plane without a parachute.
7. I was playing that game of "not stepping on the seams on the floor".
8. I was doing the shoo-fly (or is that "shoe fly"?) shuffle.
9. I was executing a perfect jete in my tutu, but I forgot to tell Stan he was supposed to catch me!!
10. I was searching for a way to return to the loving care of the hospital.
11. I ran over my leg with a motorcycle.
12. A refrigerator fell on me.
13. I was feeling well enough for a day trip so Stan and I went up toVermont to attend the hot-air balloon festival in Quechee.Unfortunately, in an attempt to capture a great picture, I fell into the gorge and had to be "air-lifted" back to the comfort of my home hospital. The balloons were beautiful though........
14. After many days in the hospital, I decided to get some sun and relax near the water. As I was dozing off, I heard a clicking noise on the tile. I dazedly looked out of the corner of my eye to see a huge (are there any other kind?) crocodile heading for me. I jumped up to run and fell over the dog. The barking of the dog distracted the crocodile and brought Stan running. He manfully chased the crocodile away and carried me into the house to await the ambulance as I had broken myleg.
15. I was bored, went parasailing, and missed the landing.
16. I was playing hopscotch with the neighbor kids.
17. Okay, I admit it; I hated walking with that damn cane and decided todo something about it!
18. While camping in the Adirondacks, I was surprised by a bear. In my attempt to get out of his path, I tripped over a large rock and crashed into a bear-proof garbage can. I quickly realized that while it might be bear-proof, it wasn't Paralikis-proof. I fell into the can head first. My legs were left on the outside of the can - which was okay until the can tipped over and began to roll down the side of the mountain. In the course of rolling along, my leg decided to go one way while the can and the rest of my body went another way. You can hear more if you go to the local diner where everyone is still talkingabout the tourist whose leg got away.
19. Knowing that I like to be adventurous and try new things, I recently joined an acrobatic water skiing team. You may have seen something like us at large aquatic amusement parks and festivals. While my background experience was limited, the coach realized that I was the one that could accomplish one of the most terrifying tasks - being the top of the five-row water skiing pyramid. My team and I had been performing for a few weeks. The crowds had been totally tantalized by our abilities. When we went by, it was my job to wave from high atop my perch and to unfurl a sign. Typically it was a simple stunt and all was well, but this time....when the winds came up, caught the sign, which went flying out of my hands and flew out across the lake. It floated downwardand landed across the face of the boat driver blinding him. He swerved erratically which of course threw the pyramid off balance. Meanwhile the boat was headed for the water ramp; and as you might suspect, the bottom skiers went up the ramp and flew through the air. I left the pyramid about midway up the ramp. After doing a great swan dive, I landed 25 yards away on the back of a ski jet. Unfortunately, when I landed I forgot to "assume the position" and instead of squatting had legs straight out. As my foot hit I heard a bone snap and well, the rest is history. (There was a rather nice write up in the local paper completewith color picture. I have been told that I can't return this season but they'll keep my spot open for me for next year.)
20. I was trying to break up a barroom fight.
21. All I wanted was a small dish of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream and, being the independent soul that I am, was trying to get it myself. Of course the pint container had fallen to the bottom of our new small chest freezer. While stretching to reach it, I lost my balance and fell head first into the freezer with the freezer door dropping onto myflailing legs......I can't wait to get home and have Stan bring me someof that ice cream......
22. I wanted to have a new way to test the airport security people and see if they could find the rod in my leg with their metal detecting wands.
23. I was table dancing and when the man at the table stood up his ----caught the edge of the table...well, you know.

There are a number of these that will be used in everyday explanations... so many could have been true! There is no way I could choose award winners from all this creative input, so an honorary bandaid to all who entered... BTW, you can still send more to either Mary or me, or even just comment here.

Thanks everyone.